Balance
Welcome to ATTUNEMENT, my monthly blog!
Each month we “tune into” a theme related to mindfulness
and explore a creative practice and tune based on this theme!
This month of October we’re TUNING INTO the frequency of:
BALANCE.
I (along with my 10-yr old daughter!) will be appearing in a local production of the musical Fiddler on the Roof in just a few weeks.*
Fiddler profiles a Jewish man, Tevye, and his family living in a small Ukranian village in 1905. At the start of the show, Tevye, the narrator, explains to the audience that each citizen of his village is like "a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck." He asks, "How do we keep our balance?," and he then emphatically answers his own question with one word: Tradition! He goes on to share (in song-form, of course!) the many traditions that help him and his fellow villagers maintain their balance in life.
“How do we keep our balance?”
A couple synonyms for the word 'tradition' are 'ritual' and 'habit.' I started thinking about the various habits, rituals, and traditions that keep me balanced in this 21st century American life of mine.
Balance can be a subjective, rather elusive concept. For example, we hear a lot these days about "work-life balance", but what does this actually mean? A 2018 meta-analysis found over 230 different conceptualizations of this term in academic research.
Although we may not have consensus on how to define "balance," I think we can become more skilled at knowing when we're feeling off-balance, and then course-correct from that place of awareness. This involves developing our "noticing" skills, which mindfulness practice helps us do.
Meditation teacher and trained Buddhist monk, Jack Kornfield, says:
Our minds are reactive: liking and disliking, judging and comparing, clinging and condemning. Our minds are like a balance scale, and as long as we’re identified with these judgments and preferences, likes and dislikes, wants and aversions, our minds are continually thrown out of balance, caught in a tiring whirlwind of reactivity. It is through the power of mindfulness that we can come to a place of balance and rest. Mindfulness is that quality of attention which notices without choosing, without preference; it is a choiceless awareness that, like the sun, shines on all things equally.
There are many mindful habits/rituals/traditions/practices that help us develop greater self-awareness and contribute to a well-balanced life.
There is no single "right" combination of these practices; what we consider the "right" combination for us may (and likely will) change many times over the course of our life.
For example, at this time in my life I tend not to prefer to engage in much formal meditation, though I do think (and research shows) that it can be beneficial to our overall wellness to form and maintain a consistent meditation practice.
Since I identify as a recovering perfectionist, the rigidity of maintaining a daily 20-minute seated meditation practice is a bit triggering, so I prefer to sit (in meditation) only when I feel like sitting. This allows me to actually utilize this practice when needed without developing a resentment towards it due to "making myself" do it.
Other mindful activities currently contributing to my overall sense of Balance include:
Songwriting and singing
Time in nature/outside
Movement (i.e. outdoor walk/jog, biking, yoga)
Laughter and play
Meaningful interactions with friends
Being around animals (i.e. cuddling my cats; visiting the zoo)
Quality time with my husband and daughters
Intuitive collaging and art journaling
Sound baths (or just listening to to relaxing/enjoyable music)
Stillness (Meditation, reading, listening to the birds, etc)
Intentional eating (consuming intuitively, and eating a mostly plant-based diet)
Attending therapy (I've done this at various times throughout my life)
I don't engage in all of these daily, but I've become pretty good about checking in daily to assess my footing on the roof (to continue the Fiddler imagery) to see if I'm feeling off-balance and at risk for metaphorically "breaking my neck".
In the past it wasn't until a neck-breaking incident was already happening (i.e. panic attack, emotional meltdown, physical exhaustion) that I'd check in with myself in this way, and at that point I was just attempting to do damage control, not being proactive with my wellness.
On the contrary, what are some behaviors you engage in that end up throwing you off-balance? Too much time scrolling social media? Eating too much fast-food, and/or drinking too much alcohol? Back-to-back meetings at work more days than not? Only surface-level interactions with your partner? Spending all day indoors?
So what practices are soul-nourishing to you?
What habits/rituals/traditions help you feel more balanced and less stressed?
This week, I challenge you to engage in at least one soul-nourishing activity (you decide what that will be) and notice how it feels to do so. I'd love to hear about what you did and how it went!
Creative Mindfulness Practice: Your Life in Colors
Consider the following areas of your life: Physical, spiritual, social, financial, community, family, mental, professional. Draw a big circle on a piece of paper, or in a journal, divide it into 8 pie pieces, and label one piece “physical”, one “spiritual,” etc.
Shade/color in each piece according to how satisfactory/”balanced” this area of life currently feels for you. Do this first intuitively (instead of over-analyzing), then once you’ve colored in each piece go back and reflect on your circle.
Does it look like you thought it would? Does your shading make sense to you? See if you can just get curious instead of self-critical about the area(s) you didn’t do much shading in.
If one or more areas feels unbalanced relative to the others, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to change anything! It may just be the phase of life you're in. For example, if you notice that you're feeling unbalanced when it comes to spending quality time with friends, this might be because you're currently parenting young children and can't squeeze much adult social time into your schedule (and/or you're too exhausted to do so!).
You might be fine with one or more life areas being "off balance" for the time being, or you might not be. If being "out of balance" doesn't feel okay, consider how you can creatively nourish this area.
Alternatively, you can use this "Assessing Your Life Balance" handout from the UCI Center for Student Wellness and Health Promotion in place of the above activity!
This Month’s Tune:
Each month I share a tune that resonates with the newsletter theme. For this month’s theme of Balance I’ve chosen, based on the tidbit I shared about Fiddler on the Roof, the opening song in the musical, "Tradition". This version is from the 2016 Broadway cast recording.
Special Announcement:
Registration is open for my Creative Ways into Wellness Retreat at Hueston Woods Lodge, May 4-5, 2024!!!
This is my second retreat I'm hosting at Hueston Woods Lodge in College Corner, OH, but the first in Springtime!
Make sure to SAVE THE DATE and/or register here to enjoy a weekend of soul-nourishing creative mindfulness-based practices, connection, relaxation, and restoration!!
