Wishing
Welcome to ATTUNEMENT, my monthly blog!
Each month we “tune into” a theme related to mindfulness
and explore a creative practice and tune based on this theme!
HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2024!!
This month of January we’re TUNING INTO the frequency of:
WISHING.
Image by Valentin Petkov
From the Disney song "When You Wish Upon a Star" (and newly-released Disney movie Wish) to the holiday tune "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", the concept of "wishing" has long-appeared in pop culture and is undoubtedly familiar to us.
When watching the Disney movie Pinocchio as a child (yes, Disney does seem to have "wishing" down to a science), I was enchanted by the scene where Gepetto kneels by his open window and sends a wish to the brightest star in the sky. For several nights after, I gazed out of my bedroom window at the starry night sky, sending my wishes to the Blue Fairy in hopes she would one day grant them.
At the end of the movie the Blue Fairy appears to Pinocchio and grants his wish to become a real boy. The song we hear playing in the background is "When You Wish Upon a Star", arguably one of the most well-known and beloved songs of all time.
“When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to youIf your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do”
Now as a grown-up, the magic of wishing upon a star has lost most of its sparkle and promise. "Anything your heart desires will come to you" has not quite held up for me. How about you?!
I sometimes wish (see what I did there?) that I could return to those childhood days of innocence, wide-eyed optimism, and endless possibility when I believed that all of my wishes would come true.
Perhaps the closest we can get to "anything your heart desires will come to you" is the practice of manifestation, based on the Law of Attraction, as described in Rhonda Byrne's bestselling book The Secret. She claims that there are 3 steps to this process:
ASK, BELIEVE, and RECEIVE.
If you swear by her method, more power to you!
But it doesn't sit quite right with me.
This may be surprising to you as someone who offers Mindful Vision Boarding workshops. But I'd argue that mindful, values-based visioning is markedly different than a Secret-style manifestation/wishing-begets-receiving practice.
Self-help author Mark Manson seems to agree with me. He writes about The Secret,
"Ultimately, the law of attraction states that if you just think about what you want, it will come to you—when taken to its logical extreme, it encourages you to always be wanting something, to never be content, and this can make us less happy in the long run.
At some point, we must all come to terms with the struggles and failures in our lives, because we all have them. This, ironically, is a more logical path to success than simply wishing incessantly for all of your dreams to come true. Don’t wish for good rewards. Wish for good problems."
I don't think "wishing" for our dreams to come true is inherently bad. I'm just not sure it's the most internally rewarding or meaningful way to use our precious wishes.
This is where the practice of Metta, or "lovingkindness," comes in.
In this centuries-old Buddhist practice, you recite a set of specific phrases that is, in essence, a wish for yourself, others, and all beings. Some traditional metta phrases are:
May I (you / we) be happy
May I (you / we) be peaceful
May I (you / we) be well
I personally prefer this type of wishing to that of "may I get the granite countertops I've been wishing for." I mean, I hope you DO get those granite countertops (I want some too!).
But I think we as a society are already WAY too focused on what we don't have (and what we don't have is usually materialistic in nature).
I know I can get bogged down with this lack-mentality, especially living in the middle-upper-class suburb I reside in. The Jones family literally lives here, and I want to keep up with them more often than I'd like to admit.
When that mentality comes over me, I tend to channel my inner Rhonda Byrne and ask the Blue Fairy to send me some granite countertops, and a bigger kitchen while she's at it!
But when I wish in that way, I'm left with a "lack hangover," a feeling of "less-than-ness" that I sometimes can't shake for a couple days.
However, wishing myself well (as in lovingkindness meditation practice) is energy-sustaining, not energy-sucking.
Even when I think I might not deserve to feel happy, the practice of wishing that for myself is a self-compassionate act. And that's significant.
If I can practice wishing myself well (i.e. self-compassion), I can more easily wish others well.
And when I practice embodying compassion towards myself and others, I am more likely to act with kindness, patience, integrity, and gratitude.
When I behave that way towards myself and others, it creates a ripple effect. And I believe that the ripple that kind action creates is far more powerful than any "wish upon a star" could ever be (sorry, Blue Fairy).
Image by Sabri Tuzcu
Creative Mindfulness Practice
Draw/collage/write your wishes for the world (maybe even including yourself!), then imagine you are sending these well-wishes to the very people and beings you drew/collaged/wrote about.
Upcoming Events
Creative Self-Care with SoulCollage® - Sunday, January 7 or Saturday, February 10
SoulCollage® is an intuitive playful, powerful process that connects you to your inner wisdom through the creation of 5x8” collaged cards of imagery which are unique reflections of you. Using this mindfulness-based method in my own life has benefitted me in so many ways, including self-care and growth, resilience and wisdom, and self-compassion.
In this 2-hr workshop you’ll be introduced to the theory and method of SoulCollage® and be guided in the creation and use of various types of SoulCollage® cards.
Choose one of the two below times/locations that works for you!
Sun., January 7, 3:30-5:30pm
@ The Be Sanctuary, 3360 Tremont Rd., Ste. 240, Columbus OH, 43221Sat, February 10, 9:30-11:30am
@ The Upper Arlington Senior Center, Building 1, 1945 Ridgeview Road, Columbus OH, 43221
Mindfully EnVISIONing Your Year - Wednesdays, January 17 & 24, 6-7pm
Part 1 (January 17, 6-7pm): In this workshop you'll create a vision board highlighting your intentions and values related to mindful, wholehearted living in 2024 and beyond. All materials are provided!
Part 2 (January 24, 6-7pm): Take part in a guided visualization of what mindful living looks/feels/sounds like to you and meditate on this (or just rest and tune out!) during a relaxing, restorative crystal singing bowl sound bath. Please bring a yoga mat, pillow, and blanket.
Location: First Community Church, North Campus, 3777 Dublin Road, Hilliard, OH, 43026
Creative Ways into Wellness Weekend Retreat - Saturday and Sunday, May 4-5
Get ready to unplug, relax, create, and be rejuvenated!
Spend a day, overnight, and morning at lovely Hueston Woods Lodge in College Corner, OH, home to Hueston Woods State Park (and just a few miles from Miami University, my alma mater!). Space is limited to 12 attendees, so reserve your spot now!
Your retreat weekend includes:
A welcome gift bag when you arrive!
A journal to use during the weekend
Lunch and dinner Saturday; breakfast Sunday
Private room with 2 queen beds and lake-view balcony
Two SoulCollage® workshops and all materials
A guided Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) experience
Two relaxing crystal singing bowl sound baths
Guided meditations and facilitated soul-nourishing conversations
Live mindful music by Katy throughout the weekend
Time for self-care activities of your choosing (nap, swim, hike, read, etc.!)
This Month’s Tune
Each month I share a tune that resonates with the newsletter theme.
For this month’s theme of WISHING I’ve chosen two songs.
First, the classic "When You Wish Upon a Star", but the recent version by the incomparable Sara Bareilles for Disney's 100th Anniversary.
Second, the song "My Wish" by early-2000s country group Rascal Flatts.
Wishing you a wonderful January!
